Week Four - Sick of Being Tired!

I promised myself that if I did write this blog, it would be real and whatever I encountered, I would talk about it here and let people draw their own conclusions.  That being said, this is going to be a WHINEY-ASS post. This is not a good week.  It has been up and down with a myriad of emotions.  Logically, I know that I've got to be healing; yet, I am still very weak and depend on someone to bring me food and drink, do my laundry, get out clothes each day for me to wear and empty my trash.  I can go from the walker to the bathroom and back. The weakness in my body equals "no progress" in my mind.

It has me wondering if every total ankle recipient feels this way, or is it just me?

It will be at least 3-4 weeks before I can start to put partial weight on my foot (providing that the ulcer has healed) and then what?  Physical therapy twice a week?  Working part time?  Will I work again?  Will I walk again?  Only time will tell.

I would love the independence of of being able to walk.  I can get nowhere in my walker.  In fact, I have two walkers but I am rolling slow.  Talk about naive.  I didn't believe that this recovery wouldn't be any worse than my original fracture and surgery, but it IS.  I went back to work part time after two weeks in 2009.  Not this time.  Oh NO.  Also, a lady wrote me today and said that she is in her 11th week of recovery and is still tired.  (And I'm in week FOUR.)  And taking a shower exhausts me.  Reading email exhausts me. Sometimes eating exhausts me.  I am sick of staying in bed but I have to keep my foot elevated.  And if I'm out of bed, I'm too weak to sit up and my head starts to pound.  My foot hurts. Have I really been in bed a whole month?  I guess so but the days run together.


At this point, I can not imagine being able to walk on that foot again without pain and without a limp.  I can not imagine wearing regular shoes again.  I want to feel good again, vibrant, with energy. How can that happen?  Go slowly and work up my strength?  My body is screwed up.

Which brings me to my Chiropractor. What would I do without him?   Chiropractors are very under-rated and the huge health benefits of getting a chiropractic adjustment (a GOOD one) is very misunderstood..  I try to see him every two weeks if possible and now it's been six weeks.  I don't trust anyone but his hands manipulating my body. He has the skill to make my aching muscles quiet down and not hurt so much.  I get terrible headaches at times.. He has the skill to crack the heck out of my neck and skull and make the headache go away.  I need an overall adjustment now.  I feel like a grenade has gone off nearby and my entire body feels the impact. 

I have friends that want to visit me and I don't feel up for company.  I can't sit in one place very long at all.  Maybe next week will be a better one.  Dear God, give me strength to make it through this and come out on the other side STRONG in mind and body.