Week Seven: Where there's a Will, there's a Way!

Hello Physical Therapy

The last post ended with me stewing about not being able to wear the boot.  Well, it turns out I didn't have to!  Dr. Royer called twice the next day to check on me (yes, it was actually him that called), and we discussed the problem and the options. He said that he would go ahead and put me in a sturdy tennis shoe and start Physical Therapy and have them massage and do ultrasound on the problem area in my foot for pain relief.  Funny thing was...after I got into the shoe, I didn't have the pain anymore!  Is that not weird?  There is no explanation as to why that happened, but there was a huge difference from the boot to the shoe.

New Balance 927 Walking Shoe

I am going to the Tom Landry Center @ Baylor Hospital in Dallas for my Physical Therapy three times a week.  After this week's therapy, my foot is beginning to somewhat loosen up where it was "stiff as a brick" before.  It gets sore afterward, but a good sore. I don't push it - I go home and elevate and ice on and off for the rest of the afternoon.  The muscles, ligaments and tendons are manipulated like they haven't moved in two years.  Plus, I have a bonus!  I have two PT's working on me.  Hallie is going to school at UT Southwestern and she is my PT's assistant while she gets her degree.

They are twisting, turning and pointing my foot down and then up as far as I can go, turning from side to side as far as it can go, and pushing against a little resistance.  There is a round turntable on the floor that I put my foot on and make circles. (It's harder than it looks.)  After I finish with about 6 different kinds of exercises, the good part comes - the massage  - and it does feel delightful on a sore, achy foot.  I can point my toes now and they have me walking, and training my foot to walk like it's supposed to.  I have hardly any flexion in the bottom but a lot of that is due to the swelling and lack of use for so long.  When I left today, I said a prayer of thanks that Dr. Royer made the decision to go ahead with Physical Therapy now.

It's strange in a way how I'm running into people who are having major ankle problems.  When I was in the waiting room at Dallas Orthopedics, a man came around to people with rollabouts and walkers asking, "Have you had an ankle replacement"?  The lady next to me said, "She has!" and pointed to me.  He sat down and wanted to know everything!  He has been hesitant because he has heard of ankle replacements with the center incision on the lower leg and foot, the recuperation time of being in bed for 2-3 weeks and the pain afterwards.  I assured him that for me, there was no question that I was going to have this done.  I had hit a wall with the pain and limitation, so I was eager and ready to go.  He seemed really glad that we talked and said I made him feel a lot better.

There have been some emails from people who are getting almost disabled and are asking questions as well as this blog getting out there with information.  I wish I had stumbled across a blog before I had my surgery, but you know what?  It's an adventure and I expect the very best

Then and Now

You can see the massive amount of hardware in the photo on the left after my original fracture. In the photo on the right, is my brand new STAR replacement - what a difference!

  

Week Six - Post op visit and PAIN!

Today was my six week visit with Dr. Royer at Baylor.  I am still non-weight bearing, so wheeled in the office on a walker, pushing with my good foot.  My granddaughters accompanied me which helped tremendously.  We waited in the exam room and Dr. Royer's nurse said that I was going to have an x-ray.  I went into x-ray and 3 different views were taken. I went back to the exam room and Dr. Royer came in a few minutes later and put the x-ray up on the screen.  He said the STAR replacement looked "beautiful". 

X-ray taken today

He said the next plan will be to walk in a boot with my full weight on it and after 3 weeks, another x-ray would be taken to make sure nothing had moved with the replacement during the period of walking.  If all is well, then I will start Physical Therapy.

The Boot

Dr. Royer's nurse took my boot and pulled the wedge out of the bottom, and realigned everything, put me back in it, and told me to stand up and take a few steps.  I took one or two steps and FROZE IN MY TRACKS.  It was painful!  It made me nauseous. It was the same pain (or very much like the same pain) that I had BEFORE my ankle replacement.  Logically, this doesn't make sense because Dr. Royer cut away the bone rubbing against bone to put the new ankle prosthesis in my foot.  Nevertheless, that horrible pain is there.  It is located on the INSIDE of my ankle, around the bone and from the bone down to where the bottom of my foot begins.  It could be the tendons or ligaments ~ who knows?

I immediately told the nurse that I couldn't walk because of the pain, and she said that it was going to be painful  and to remember "no pain.......no gain."   I understand that, and I'm not a lightweight when it comes to pain, so we will have to come up with another plan since it's obvious that I'm not going to be able to wear the boot.  It gave me that darn pressure sore when I didn't have weight on it.

Six Week Photo

I can't take the steps I need to for the weight bearing, so I don't know how I will make it through 3 weeks of trying to walk before Physical Therapy.  Other people who have had ankle replacements have not reported pain in this area.  Another bump in the road, but I will be in touch with Dr. Royer and maybe we can come up with another plan. 

 I must trust God to be my calm in the storm.  He knows the absolute hell I've been through with this foot.. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me because right now I don't know if I will walk again without having pain.  I know that I will be working part time for quite some time because of the swelling.  I believe he said at least two months.

Friends, I realize this is not the most joyous post tonight but like I always say....this is my story.  I'm telling you the reality of every aspect of this experience. Your thoughts and prayers are mighty appreciated!

xoxo.....Jan

Meanwhile....keeping it on ice



Week Five - Thankful? Yes.

This is definitely a better week.  Maybe because I rolled to the laundry room yesterday and threw some clothes in the washer....or made a new necklace on Sunday ... or being thankful that my daughter is a wonderful caregiver - making sure I have everything I need and going way over and above what she needs to do.  Thankful for the Luv and support of my Coworkers, always cheering me on. Thankful that my granddaughters come in the door with laughter, saying, "Hi Grandma" and heading straight to the puppy to love on him and watch his antics. He will have major Mama-withdrawal when I go back to work. Andy is always here by my side and anxious to lick, snuggle and play.

I can tell you all the titles of movies I have watched in the last month and recount all the "Jail" episodes, "Operation Repo", "Hardcore Pawn", "Cops" and every single day of the Casey Anthony trial.  I feel like a secret juror listening to all the testimony.  I have time to lay here to contemplate what I want for lunch and dinner and what t-shirt and shorts I will wear for the day. Taking a shower is my exercise (as well as refreshing).  After a month's experience, I am also pretty darn good at Angry Birds.

When I'm in a thinking mode, I wonder how I will regain my strength.  Will it happen once I start to walk?  Will I get some of it back in rehab?  When will I stop sleeping for three hours and wake up?  How soon will Jenny Craig help me take the extra weight off?  Now, I'm not the only patient with these questions....a few people in the U.S. who have had the same procedure are wondering the same things.  Given that this surgery is all pretty much uncharted territory and we are the new pioneers, wouldn't you wonder as well?

Am I ungrateful?  NO!  Do other people have it worse than me?  ABSOLUTELY! 

I say this only because a long-time friend who I haven't seen or talked to in a very long time, forwarded me an email.  They didn't write a personal message; however, the content was that of not complaining about our circumstances - lest they be worse.  The email regarded a little boy with no legs, being fitted with prosthetic feet and legs and showing his many accomplishments. The little guy was a go-getter!  It was something you would never, ever wish on any child (or anyone). Again, the message was "Don't complain".  I suppose this friend felt that I was whining too much on the last post and decided to throw cold water on my face, so to speak.  (Point taken.)  Then, there was the lady who told me to read "The Secret" (ask and it shall be given) and the guy who played soccer and hurt his knee and gave his advice on healing.  Whew!

The fact of the matter is ....we are all different and this is my experience.  Just mine.  However, if you have been an independent person, you will be confined to a bed, sofa or recliner and at the mercy of others taking care of you and it's not going to be a trip to Disneyland.  It won't be a living hell, but you will have definite limitations for weeks.  The end result of this surgery and limitations are to give you freedom from the intolerable pain which is all the time both day and night.  Freedom to walk without a brace and to walk without a limp.  Freedom to live a more normal life and resume activities that you have given up long ago because they were too painful.

Next week - Six::  Doctor visit and maybe starting some rehab and bearing a little weight on the new ankle?  We'll see ---- I'm ready!

Week Four - Sick of Being Tired!

I promised myself that if I did write this blog, it would be real and whatever I encountered, I would talk about it here and let people draw their own conclusions.  That being said, this is going to be a WHINEY-ASS post. This is not a good week.  It has been up and down with a myriad of emotions.  Logically, I know that I've got to be healing; yet, I am still very weak and depend on someone to bring me food and drink, do my laundry, get out clothes each day for me to wear and empty my trash.  I can go from the walker to the bathroom and back. The weakness in my body equals "no progress" in my mind.

It has me wondering if every total ankle recipient feels this way, or is it just me?

It will be at least 3-4 weeks before I can start to put partial weight on my foot (providing that the ulcer has healed) and then what?  Physical therapy twice a week?  Working part time?  Will I work again?  Will I walk again?  Only time will tell.

I would love the independence of of being able to walk.  I can get nowhere in my walker.  In fact, I have two walkers but I am rolling slow.  Talk about naive.  I didn't believe that this recovery wouldn't be any worse than my original fracture and surgery, but it IS.  I went back to work part time after two weeks in 2009.  Not this time.  Oh NO.  Also, a lady wrote me today and said that she is in her 11th week of recovery and is still tired.  (And I'm in week FOUR.)  And taking a shower exhausts me.  Reading email exhausts me. Sometimes eating exhausts me.  I am sick of staying in bed but I have to keep my foot elevated.  And if I'm out of bed, I'm too weak to sit up and my head starts to pound.  My foot hurts. Have I really been in bed a whole month?  I guess so but the days run together.


At this point, I can not imagine being able to walk on that foot again without pain and without a limp.  I can not imagine wearing regular shoes again.  I want to feel good again, vibrant, with energy. How can that happen?  Go slowly and work up my strength?  My body is screwed up.

Which brings me to my Chiropractor. What would I do without him?   Chiropractors are very under-rated and the huge health benefits of getting a chiropractic adjustment (a GOOD one) is very misunderstood..  I try to see him every two weeks if possible and now it's been six weeks.  I don't trust anyone but his hands manipulating my body. He has the skill to make my aching muscles quiet down and not hurt so much.  I get terrible headaches at times.. He has the skill to crack the heck out of my neck and skull and make the headache go away.  I need an overall adjustment now.  I feel like a grenade has gone off nearby and my entire body feels the impact. 

I have friends that want to visit me and I don't feel up for company.  I can't sit in one place very long at all.  Maybe next week will be a better one.  Dear God, give me strength to make it through this and come out on the other side STRONG in mind and body.